Moments

You never really know what you’d think about moments before you think you’re going to die. Not in theory, but you may know perhaps if you’ve had some practice. Nothing matter as much in that moment except to either get out alive, or reconciling yourself to the fact that, "This is it.” I don’t think you could ever be fully prepared to die, but we can prepare for life…

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Not many people know this about me, but I love speed. I love the exhilarating feel of whizzing down the fast lane or feel the pedal under my feet succumb too the pressure. That being said, I believe I am a very safe driver and I have never once received a traffic fine. Personally I would put it down to skill, but it may just be a combination of factors.

One, I really love people and would never put anyones life at risk by driving recklessly. Secondly, I do not believe in wasting money on fines of any sort. So i drive, fast but I drive safely.

One of my greatest ambitions though is still to be tossed about from side to side, with the wheels of the car screaming mercy as i shoot down a race track. Ahh the thrill!

We picked up L., who was last on our list as the four of us made our way to Mpumalanga in the North West province of South Africa for our three day holiday. Everyone in the car excited i began with three simple rules, seeing that I was the designated Transporter I thought it was quite smart.

“Rule number 1: No talking about work.
Rule number 2: Don’t touch the radio
Rule number 3: Don’t talk about rule no.1.” I spoke with a bit of a giggle.

The team echoed the laugh and off we went with our music booming. T., M., L. and I all had one thing in common. We needed this holiday. It was the break before we break (pun intended).

For the most part the journey was long but pleasant. Stopping only a couple of times to stretch our legs, take a picture and crack a couple of jokes; soon after driving for four hours we’d be in White River, our new home.

Once as we were making our way around a bend, we saw a beautiful new Mercedes that had crashed into the barricade. This was a single vehicle accident in the middle of the day. It was clear that the car would never drive again and that the owner had been speeding to his destination for the long weekend. The mood in the car shifted a little but we kept our happy cheer.

“Okay, it’s time for Beyonce. Sorry L.”, M. jeered. T. responded with a laugh and I joined the girls on the sing along and cheer. But of course Beyonce music is made for road trips.

When we arrived at our destination our presence was felt. We immediately opened the door to have easier access to our joining rooms and tucked into some food. Sitting like family, the four of us, on the pair of twin beds that were pushed together began talking about the issues of life. Giggles, chuckles and out right uncontrolable laughter filled the rooms and soon enough there was a knock on the door.

On the last day it was a bit could. It was driving as we were loading our bags back in the car getting ready to check out. I quickly did a run to the dinning area to return the keys and ask the staff to prepare us some padkos or road eats for the journey back to Johannesburg, especially as were leaving before the designated tie for breakfast. They were more than happy to oblige and we thanked them as we made off.

Our plan was drive back via the Panorama route as we hadn’t been able to see it the previous day. Quite exhausted from the weekend of driving I had asked M. to drive. Reluctantly she agreed even though by her own admission she had never driven a car with automatic transmission before.

When we got to the petrol station however the car battery refused to start and M. and I had to swop. I was back to being the designated Transporter again…

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It all happened in a second. One moment we were driving and talking, the next I was looking face to face with a fast approaching oncoming truck. One, two, three… three souls in the front of a white truck. I didn’t even mean to count them, our minds work so fast that we take it for granted.

What?! What was happening? There was the rain and the fog… coming at such a speed, this was a blind bend. He was in my lane and I had no where to go. We were on a mountain with no yellow line. I can’t move out of the way into the road’s shoulder… Okay Feeh, this guy is not going to move you have to.

With this realisation I decided to step on the pedal and swerve out to the right. With the road having only two lanes, one for cars travelling in each direction, this was not a decision I could take lightly. And not a moment sooner and I heard a sound…or did I… I looked back to see what happened and when I looked back ahead I saw two shocked white faces.

This is it. I saw the shock in both their eyes. They’re thinking what is she doing here? I dodged the first car but two?! … We’re too close. `Oh my gosh a head-on collusion on this mountain?!

…. I don’t remember all that happened next, but L. said after I saw the second car I took both hands off the steering. And then for some reason jolted back to life and swerved out of the way back to my original lane. All I remember thing was, “How is this going to look? People are going to say they died on holiday, while I was driving. Lord, please don’t let people die while I'm driving.

All of a sudden my body knew what to do, and I saw another me kicking in. One driving in a video game. It felt so surreal, for a moment I was Louis Hamilton in a virtual reality. I realised that this poor elderly couple didn’t have as much time as I did to process what was about to happen. I needed to dodge two cars and keep on driving till we reached a place of safety.

Only when we sat down and had pancakes and ice-cream did I begin to feel the fear. I couldn’t hold back the emotion of crying. 

Side note: When I first got my car it was anointed and prayed for by my parents, pastors and home cell. I never thought those prayers would be tested so soon thereafter but I know for sure God hears. 

Love and light,
Fi